Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A generation gone...

So.. My grandmother died yesterday. My GaGa. It is sooo hard to imagine my life, the life of my family and, heck the world without her. She was an amazing woman, of a generation which no longer exists.

She got married at 16 to a man much her senior. A man who... GASP... was divorced and had a child. This was just NOT DONE back then. Can you imagine what GUTS that took...a young girl telling her mom that she in fact was going to marry this man.

She blessed her husband with 3 girls. Girls she would raise to be STRONG, Southern ladies.

She took care of the house and raised the kids so that her husband could go out and earn a living to provide for them.

And when in her 30s, her 55 year old mother in law came to live with her family, she welcomed that MIL! Can you imagine??? Your MIL living with you while you are raising a family???

She was blessed with 12 grandchildren, and 25 + great grands.

She did what was "RIGHT" because it was "RIGHT". Not because, it would get her anything. She took care of her husband, her kids, and her family because that is what you do. NO MATTER WHAT!

I thank my GaGa for teaching me the value of family. The value of taking care of your own. The value of focusing on what matters the most.

I will miss you, GaGa. I thank God for the honor to know and LOVE you! Rest in Peace and know you made a difference!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

facebook at 40

As I sit here on facebook, it occurs to me that what FB is to me at 40 is totally different than what it is to my MUCH younger counterparts.

I will never forget when my sister in law said "are you on facebook?".

"WHAT?"

I took a few months but curiosity got the best of me and WHAM... facebook ! "Crack" book as I called it. I could not get enough. I LOVED catching up with old friends, finding family and yes, finding out how everyone looked now. It was GREAT! I even got the "I should have married you" email which was quite flattering. My husband got the " My husband won't let me "friend" old boyfriends" email. You have to LOVE this stuff! It was so GREAT to get on every day and find out what everybody was doing and I have to admit, it was AMUSING at times to see current pictures of old friends. You can't make STUFF like this up!!!

But as time has gone on... I have realized that FB is not REAL LIFE. You only see what people want you to see. And for most people life is a BIG GAME and the need to put on a HUGE FACADE invades everything.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy FB. And I especially LOVE sharing the amusing things that life throws my way. I do however, keep it in perspective. And I hope EVERYONE does.

FaceBook at 40 is different! Life has taught me lessons...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Inspiring...

Church was GREAT tonight...good food, fellowship and football talk. Freddie LOVED it!

On the way out, I chatted with a man I had never officially met, although I knew who he was. He is the father who just lost a daughter. Only, I had no idea what HIS story was...now I do.

His family consists of a mom, a dad and 3 daughters...just like ours.
His girls have brought him SO MUCH JOY...just like ours.
And the DRAMA is endless... just like ours.
The mom was Catholic and they decided to join the Methodist Church...just like us.
The mom is one of 5 girls, I am one of 4.

This man shared his story with me all while, watching my 3 girls play and laugh. He then told me of his lose...I could only say " I am so sorry". He then went on to tell me how my girls bring back such HAPPY memories for him... hard but Happy. I thought I would burst into to tears right there! But his SMILE as he glanced at my girls, stopped me.

As he walked away, all I could think was... WOW! He is an inspiration! But I wonder if he even knows that? He inspires me with his strength. He inspires me with his FAITH. He inspires me with his SMILE. To see a man in such pain be able to go on...to attend church...to enjoy the sight of 3 young girls much like his...and to smile...inspires me!

Inspires me to... cherish EVERY day... SMILE often...and appreciate the little things. And mostly, inspires me to have FAITH!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Alright, I am not GREAT at this blog thing... 8 months since my last post. Not a good record! But, here I am trying again...

This week the kids went back to school, and like most moms out there I did the happy dance when the bus pulled away that first day. What I did not expect was the HUGE let down I felt about 12 noon. Yes, I know this will take everyone who knows me well by surprise. But it is, in fact, true! I missed the chaos, the constant "MOMMY" and yes, even the constant fighting. While I do in fact have PLENTY to keep me busy...my husband and I own our own business (that is all I need to say to those who are self-employeed), I missed the girls.

I have to say, that this perplexed me a little. Me? Miss the craziness that makes me so crazy??? Then it came to me...

FINALLY, I have become the mother I am supposed to be.
Notice I did not say the mother I always wanted to be, or the mother my mom was, and certainly not the mother I think my 3 great girls really deserve.
But in fact, I am the mother I am supposed to be. I am the mother of 3 girls who love to get dirty and track it into my clean house, who play outside and leave the door open all the time, who would rather swim than read a "stinky" book in the summer, who talk back, who are sassy, who fight constantly, who drive me nuts daily and who I LOVE more than I could ever imagine. You see, I am the best mother I can be... and I miss them every minute they are away!

Motherhood is a journey that never ends and changes everyday...embrace it and enjoy every moment.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I RUN...

When I was 38 1/2 or so I set this CRAZY goal of wearing a bikini again the summer I turned 40. I made several attempts... we bought a bowflex(which is now covered in dust in our office), I walked with Jenny (a big 4 year old) in a jog stroller, and then I tried the video thing. I quit them all. And 40 came and went and , You guessed it, NO BIKINI for me! But this last fall, I finally had time! Time I had not had in almost 9 years. Time for me... no chance of interruption, no chance of someone joining me and a chance for me to do something just for me.

I started out just walking immediately after I put the kids on the bus, 7:40 in the morning. I started walking, just walking... And then my much younger and more fit, friend , Heather said "Wanna run the Christmas 5k?". I am sure the look on my face gave her my answer, but out of nowhere my mouth said "Yeah". WHAT? Did I just say I would run a 5k. I am a 40 year old mother of 3 who hasn't done much but chase kids for the past 9 years. So the training began. I followed a training plan aptly called "From couch, to 5k". And yep, I made it. I ran my first 5k, November 20, 2009. First on in my life and at the ripe old age of 40. Time: 34:30. Averaging an 11 minute mile. Yep, I'll take it!

But I Run for a lot of reasons:
I run for me, and only me.
I run to clear my head.
I run to be alone.
I run and enjoy the music I want to listen to.
I run because I love it!
I run for my family... to be a good example and to make sure I am here for a long time to come.

Mostly, I RUN JUST TO RUN. Maybe from things, maybe toward new things.

It is a gift I give myself almost daily now... a gift no one can take from me. A gift that will give to me and my family for years to come.

I RUN.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

No Fear!

Ok, so I may be getting in over my head! I am not sure what I am thinking... starting a BLOG. Heck, I am not even sure what a BLOG is. That is a direct reflection of my age! I am I guess starting this instead of writing the book I always said I wanted to write.

Let me start by telling you a little about me... I am a 40 year old mother of 3. 3 Girls no less. Ages 9, 7, and 6. My life is CRAZY but perfect in its own way. I grew up the youngest of 4 girls and yes, that was crazy too. Typical childhood and teenage years. I went to Converse College with a GREAT group of girls. Women who I have now caught up with, thanks to Facebook. Women I wish I had never lost touch with ! I am married(13 years this May) to a wonderful man. We own a business and that certainly keeps us busy! I am your typical mom and wife, just trying to keep my head above water most days.

I am not sure how to start this so I will start with my newest philosophy on life:
Instead of fearing the unknown, Embrace the adventure.

This just came to me one day. Well, sort of. You see, I am a cradle Catholic who has recently decided to explore other churches. A HUGE DEAL! Any of you Catholics out there know what I mean. This decision has been years in the making but was the most difficult and emotional decision I have EVER made in my life. But as I sat in my new Methodist church service, scared to death, it just came to me...I can sit hear and scare myself to death or I can Embrace this process and the adventure it will be for me and my family! So I have now adopted this "Instead of fearing the unknown, embrace the adventure" as my new life philosophy! I am trying will all my might to remind myself daily to do it and live it! I no longer allow little things that throw my plan to frustrate me, I just embrace the new path. This blog is yet another adventure and while
I am not sure where this blog will lead me... but I hope you will follow along!